Each of you is a communicator. You have to be a communicator since you were born. As a communicator, you start to use verbal and verbal forms of communication, when you can start talking. That’s probably when you reach the age of 1.5 or 2 years. So, hours of talk you would have higher. Maybe 20 to 40 annually, not true?. Have you noticed yourself, and then concludes, how your habits and style when talking with others? How do you respond to the other person? In general, customs and style that is “created” you are today. That is your self as a communicator. In fact, that your self as social human beings.
There are five basic styles, in responding to communications from the person you hear talking.
1. Advise and Evaluating
That is a habit to respond to communications, to advise and evaluate the tendency of the listener. On the one hand, this style is the style most commonly encountered. On the other hand, this style is precisely the style that most low-value contribution to the effectiveness of communication. So we can imagine, how we have been very ineffective in communicating.
This style can be:
Create the sensation that the listener has been designing the response is not natural, and also revealed that the audience listened hard enough.
Indicates that the audience feels superior to the speaker, and finally make the speaker feel inferior.
Becoming an effective way, precisely in order to avoid or not involved with the speaker or the speaker issue. If you stuck to evaluate and give advice without being asked, then you actually not want to help him, but wanted to get out of the question.
Example:
“You always have to buy imported goods! What do you need to buy is the genuine goods made in Indonesia, yet the quality is also not lose.”
“Looks like you are trapped and bound in the problem. What do you need to do is try to do other activities, and meet people, and build new relationships.”
This style is suitable for:
Situation where the speaker is talking to them for advice and evaluation from the audience.
2. Analizing and interpret
With this style, listeners tend to be “patronizing” or “want to be a teacher.” With this style, the listener tries to say the problems faced his interlocutor, or even told about the other person’s feelings, related to a problem.
This style can be:
Make a fashion to enable the speaker to survive.
Stultify further speakers to tell his thoughts and feelings.
Imply that the listener feel more know about the issues discussed, rather than the speaker itself.
Example:
“What you do may make you tired, and so you are continually delayed.”
“Did you ever think that you’re really angry, and that’s why you become depressed? For you know, depression is a form of anger to himself.”
This style is suitable for:
Situations where speakers talked can not determine or decide his feelings, or the speaker was asked for an interpretation of the listener.
3. Strengthening and Support
This style is usually performed to demonstrate that listeners sympathetic to the speaker issue. Listeners want more convincing as a listener, and want to help reduce the intensity of feelings experienced by the speaker.
This style can be:
(It) ignores the true feelings of the speaker.
Revealed that listeners actually said, “No you should be feeling like this.”
Communicating the disparity of interest or sense of the pure understanding of the listener.
Example:
“Do not make too dipikirin.’ve Always late for it mah kok. It’s Indonesia.”
“The parents you would understand if you explain it.”
This style is suitable for:
Situation where the speaker talked indicates the need for support and reassurance, or the speaker is asking for help in order to change its behavior.
4. ask and probing
Asking questions for clarification, may indicate that listeners want more information about an issue. Probing – questions that lead, if done too early or too often, will encourage the speaker to follow a certain logic, or set him up to the conclusion that in accordance with the will of the listener.
This style can be:
distraction of audience understanding, of what is actually said by the speaker.
Directing comments speaker, in the direction desired by the listener.
Bring relevant information, and remove irrelevant information.
Placing the speakers into a survival mode, when sung by a question-based “why?”.
Example:
“Can you tell us more about that?”
“Why do you keep doing it, when you know that’s not good for you?”
“What’s your favorite sport? How much time do you set aside to do it? Are you good enough to do it? With whom do you do?”
This style is suitable for:
Talk situations where listeners really want to understand what was said or intended by the speaker.
Encourage the speaker to develop what he wants to say, if the listener uses the open questions. Not just “yes” or “no.”
5W and 1H clarify the speaker’s comments.
5. Understanf and Paraphrasing
This response is the response of the most difficult. This response requires high skills for active listening. This response is an expression of the desire of listeners, to truly understand the thoughts and feelings of the speaker.
This style can be:
Convince the speaker that the listener is listening and understanding.
Helps the speaker to clarify and understand what he had said.
Creating a comfortable and calm effect.
Example:
“Let’s see if I’ve caught it right. You feel depressed because you are not satisfied with your work. You think that school again is a good choice, and you are confused about what to do. So?”
“You feel angry because your brother’s teasing you. You want him to stop teasing, so you need not feel humiliated. So yes?”
This style is suitable for:
Talk situations where listeners feel less understood completely, what was said by the speaker.
Situations where the listener wants to talk to clarify and get an overall view of what he heard.
Assist in clarifying what the speaker is talking about.
Achieving a deeper understanding than what is spoken from the mouth of the speaker.
Conclusion
You have to see and feel, how to communicate with both heavy and difficult. You know how hard it gave the right response, and wise in every speaking situation.
It is true that we need to continue to improve the way we communicate. It is good if we continue to improve quality so that more constructive talk.
However, with any of the habits and your current style, you still need to elate. We all have the same constraints. Keep learning. Because despite all the quality of response, there is one very important thing and is easier to do. Anything that becomes a habit and respond to your style, APA style is not important, but HOW you do it.
Communicating is not about WHAT it’s about HOW.
Keep learning. Let us continue to learn to improve our quality of speaking.
Let’s study together to understand the phenomenon of speaking.
Tags: advice, communication, habits, listener, performed, person, responding, speaker, styles, talk, understanding
